My Cousin Angie – a story of survival

When I was a senior in High School, I worked at the local mall – about eight stores total, in La Porte, IN.   I worked for a little dress shop called Stuart’s.  It would be comparable to a Forever 21 today. I loved it. Every paycheck bought me new clothes from the store where I worked for $3.75 an hour. I did get a 30% discount off anything I bought, but still – I wasn’t the best as saving, obviously. I had the world by the tail and was loving life.

One evening, when I was working the 5-9 shift, I received a phone call from my mom. Pre-mobile phone days, so she had called on the store land line. Pretty much a no-no – NO personal calls, right? I took the call while my boss stared me down. My mom proceeded to tell me that my cousin Angela had been in a terrible car accident.   I started to shake and I feared the worst. She was still alive, but it was very, very bad. I cannot emphasize how bad. It was as bad as it could get without it being the worst. My boss watched the unfolding of Rayanne right before her and she knew I was devastated. She withheld the “no personal call” scolding and sent me home.

Angela and I had grown up living close to each other, our families spending one or two Sundays a month together, and many weekend nights at each other’s house. My cousin Angie was a style icon to me… I loved the way she dressed and how easily she was put together.   I can remember like it was yesterday, standing in her bathroom giggling and brushing our teeth as we prepared for an all night gab fest – she turned to me and said, “You know you can put toothpaste on zits and it will clear them up?”  Angie was always a wealth of just such information. She was an entrepreneur at a very young age. When her family moved to UT after spending all of her life in California, Angela found a way to stay in tough with her contacts and friends on the West Coast. She got into cross-state merchandising at the ripe old age of 17. She purchased items in UT and then drove into California and sold them for a profit. But one such trip brought the afore-mentioned tragedy.

Angie had a terribly long recovery. She was in, what was termed, a “walking coma.” And when she awoke, she had a rebirth. She started her life over – literally.   Angela,then and now, is one of the most loving people you could ever meet. I had been thinking about her a bit when my Aunt sent over an email with news about The Waifs, an Australian band that my cousin’s (Angie’s younger brother, Mat) wife is part of. Vikki Thorn, Mat’s wife and mother of his two children (one more on the way!)  has a haunting voice and so captured the essence of Angela in a song of that title that I had to share it here. Please visit The Waif’s site for their new album, Temptation and have a free listen to “Angela.” (click on the golden arrow next to “Angela”)

I love you Angie.  I love you, Aunt Joanne and Uncle Chuck.  Life is not always easy but the rewards are sweet and sure for those who joyfully endure.

If you are lucky enough to have an incredible life of health, love, and peace – you are lucky enough. Enjoy!

by rayannethorn

“Find Your One Thing” – The Phoenix Infection, Part 5

We spend our days working toward something, trying to be successful, trying to make a difference, achieving something bigger, greater than ourselves. Maybe that is too great of an assumption. Of course, not everyone is working toward greatness. Many give up, many assume they cannot achieve it, and many are stunted by lack of leadership. Those who need a nudge are not always in the right place at the right time to receive it from the right person. I suppose I am one of the lucky ones.

For most of my work life, I have been led by leaders that were good at what they did and enjoyed their work. And when they no longer enjoyed it, they changed it up and tried something new, something different. I was a young high school graduate – only seventeen years old. And when I was just eighteen, I finished a certificated dental assisting program at Indiana University. It was grueling. Seriously; not kidding. Forty hours a week for three semesters that included such hits as Oral Anatomy, Oral Pathology, Radiography, Behavioral Science, Dental Therapeutics and Emergency Medicine, the list goes on. It was tough and I worked hard. But by the time I was nineteen, I had jumped in, feet first, and joined the adult world of working forty hours a week and paying bills.

I bought a car from my parents and had my own land phone (way pre-cell phone.) I purchased independent health and life insurance; those benefits are rarely provided by dentists to their employees. I think the only thing I didn’t pay for myself was car insurance; luckily, my parents kept me on the policy because it was the most affordable option and I was very thankful. The first dentist I worked for was very good at what he did, but he didn’t like it much. He only became a dentist to pay the bills but he was extremely smart and he managed his practice well; selling it and leaving the field completely after twenty-five years. When he retired? He became a substitute teacher at the local junior high and coached after school sports – basketball. He went from making an extremely good living to barely making minimum wage and he loved it. He had found his one thing.

I have written before about finding your one thing – the thing that gets you up in the morning, that gets your motor running, that motivates you, that floats your boat. My one thing is just doing it better – everything. It’s not that I want to be perfect for that is impossible, I just think I can always do better, find the better way, be smarter about it, figure out a different plan, be strategic about it all. That is my one thing. What is yours? Have the leaders in your life, in your career been clear about their one thing? Have you followed the right leaders for you? It is easy to get caught up in following someone that is very charismatic or who has power and authority or money. But do those attributes make a good leader? Yes, for some, no, for others. 

 
http://www.youtube.com/v/2k1uOqRb0HU&hl=en_US&fs=1&

I look back at the first dentist I worked for and think of the impressionable eighteen year old I was when he hired me. I learned a lot about running a small business, about ethics, and choices. The work was just a job for me too, but the path I was on became the road to my career and the first of many lessons. Perseverance and patience, study and continually learn while you mark your time, if you don’t love your work then add something to your life that you can love (my dentist loved bass fishing) and keep goals- not just have them but keep them. And, of course, find your one thing.

© by rayannethorn

Why We Follow – The Phoenix Infection, Part 4

When I think about the leaders in my life, it is difficult to not be appreciative of the fine examples that I have had the honor of following. There certainly have been those that have brought dishonor to the role of leader, but lessons were found in those experiences, as well. And well, I crave learning. Maybe learning the hard way isn’t so much fun, but learning stimulates growth and change. And growth and change are what create the adults and professionals we become and, hopefully, drive success. It isn’t always easy but it usually is worth it.

In 1990, I worked for a children’s dentist. He had already been in practice since 1963. He loved his work and struggled with the concept of retirement. He finally retired two or three years ago but it was on his own time, under his own terms. I believe he was close to 80 years old when his office doors finally closed. He had gone to dental school in Chicago, my kind of town, and perfected his craft in the army. I think working on all those tough guys made him realize he wanted to specialize in children’s dentistry and that is where he stayed until the day he turned over his keys. I used to catch him shadow boxing and doing push-ups, as well as sit-ups between patients. One time, I asked why he always worked out, why he didn’t just take it easy and enjoy some time off. He said “There’s plenty of time for that later, I need to be in shape for the kids.”

Each of us does what we have to do, what we think needs to be done in order to succeed and sometimes, merely survive. Dr. Friedman, my hard-working dentist, wasn’t your typical leader but he was a good example; he provided for his family and for his employees, always. He wanted to be good at his job and his employees were devoted. One assistant worked for him for forty years, his office manager was with him for over twenty, I was there for over ten years. The fact that he was able to retain loyal employees says a lot about the employer he was and the work he did. He led by example. And we stayed because the work was fulfilling and we felt needed and appreciated.

Of course, not every employer makes employees feel this way. As a matter of fact, most do not. Most people do not stay with a company because of the money – they stay because they feel appreciated and they like their boss or their colleagues. Leadership doesn’t have to be sparkly or done with a big bang. It can be subtle, quiet, and even gentle, as was the case with Dr. Friedman. The rise of this Phoenix was slow and methodical, taking over forty-five years to reach the destination, the finish line.

We follow for reasons. They may seem unfulfilling or less than mighty, to begin with. But the following happens, nonetheless. Believing in reasons and not excuses, I try to remember those I chose to follow, those whose influence changed me – those whose example and attention altered my core. In the study of reasons, the lessons have more clarity and the application of what was learned becomes more native and real. Reasons are there, you just have to open your eyes to them. And with open eyes, there is clearer vision; vision to apply lessons learned and examples shared. The passing of the Phoenix Infection not only happens, it should be expected.

© by rayannethorn

For the Whole

Several years ago, I was directing a one-act play; a show included five actresses and one actor. Given that it was merely a one-act, it was a little less involved than a full-length production. The actors were expected to show up for rehearsals prepared, meaning know their lines and remembering their blocking ->the actor’s movement on stage. I have worked in theater since I was very young and always loved the art form. One might say that theater is a passion for me – one might say this.

When I direct, I give my actors a significant amount of latitude to find their character and do their job – memorization. And while, it is their job, that doesn’t mean it is easy. It takes work and it takes concentration, but it is what actors sign up for when they audition or accept a role in a production. One of my actresses was struggling with memorization and I encouraged her to spend more time outside of rehearsal studying; she was in her late sixties, so I was patient with her struggle. She started to over-compensate for her lack of preparation by bringing in props and helping other actors with costumes, as well as bringing snacks or drinks to each rehearsal. I pulled her aside at one point and thanked her for the help but I really needed her to concentrate on what her job was in this show – to be an actor and actors memorize lines.

She seemed to improve but the over-compensation continued. Our final rehearsal was rough and I reminded each actor of their responsibilities, not only to a paying audience but to each other – their teammates. They each assured me they would be ready; they understood their roles. The next night, we opened. I also ran tech for the show, meaning I worked the lights and sound for each performance; I had selected specific music and created a look for the show using these mediums – all to accent the actors’ work. I was mostly happy with the show, just hoped my one actor would be able to step up to the plate.

Unfortunately, her lack of preparation was clear and she failed her fellow actors miserably, dropping lines, skipping over several pages of dialogue and stammering. The discomfort was evident on stage and my other actors looked as if they were dying a painful death. I had given the benefit of the doubt to an actor that hadn’t prepared nor did she understand the power behind that preparation. Not only this, but she felt that multiple mistakes in front of an audience were OK given all the other “stuff” she had contributed to the production. How wrong she was and she looked at me incredulously as I fired her from the production. I couldn’t put my other actors – the prepared ones – through another gut-wrenching performance. Another actor stepped into her role and performed beautifully through the remainder of the run.

The bottom line is everyone is replaceable. Everyone. Do the job you are assigned to do. Understand why you are paid and fulfill your end of the bargain. I have worked with colleagues that perform similarly to this actor, they fail to prepare and fail to perform their “own” job; trying to cover it by sticking their noses in everyone else’s affairs, hoping to divert attention. This experience changed how I direct and how I work. Recognizing your own responsibility and how it affects the team is paramount to achieving success, both individual and joint. And while “you’re fired” were difficult words to say, it was the best thing I could have done for the whole. And that’s what it’s all about.

by rayannethorn

from Bonus Track by RT on recruitingblogs.com

A Road Less Traveled

While I only live thirty-two miles from my work, every work day I climb into my gray 2005 Honda Accord and prepare for a commute that typically takes an hour and a half. The congested freeways mark the only path into the city where Broadbean USA resides. There have been slick roads, hundreds of accidents to pass, rain, fog, crazy drivers, slammed-on brakes, traffic sometimes dead stopped, and a couple of traffic tickets along the way. Mostly, there has been a significant amount of talk time on my beloved mobile device. I cannot say I have never texted or never emailed or never facebooked while driving – I confess to these crimes.

My phone has been my constant companion during my commute and one hand always on the wheel.

My drive time has given me endless hours to think, numerous topics to write about, and opportunity to speak with my mom and friends often. I usually have one or two business calls while driving and have even reviewed documents when two mile per hour traffic has allowed. I wish I could say I have hated this drive but the fact of the matter is, I have not. I have seen incredible sunrises, seemingly impossible sunsets, driven through fires, and seen things that have changed my life and way of thinking.

In just over two weeks, my drive will be reduced to only fifteen minutes and I will no longer move along at a snail’s pace on packed, over crowded highways wishing I could cheat and sneak into the car pool lane (I have tried and while I didn’t get caught, I felt guilty for weeks.) I will now be driving along the ocean on the popular PCH (Highway One, Pacific Coast Highway.) The added time with my family (15 more hours a week), the reduced wear and tear on my car, diminished fuel costs, and eliminated stress will serve me well.

But I must admit, I will miss my time. I will miss the opportunity to really focus on issues that need solutions. I will miss my phone calls. I will miss the way I could get lost in music or a good audio book. And I will miss the further discovery of self. I guess I will find it in my morning walks that I will now have the time to resume. 😉

What I have gained almost outweighs the time lost. Almost. This drive has been a part of who I am since February of 2007. Like any trial, what didn’t kill me, made me stronger. And while I may miss it, at first, I look forward to it being in my past, to it being less about who I am and more about how I became who I am today. My Honda with 120,000 miles may die of heartbreak but freeways 91 and 55 will have one less traveler. Me.

by rayannethorn

Last Minute

A lot has been happening last minute for me these days…, and I am loving it. Part of what makes me love the recruiting industry is the need to be flexible and go with the flow. It is in my nature to love new things, therefore, I am a rabid learner, perpetual student, and embracer of technology and all things new media. Thanks goodness.

I was given two weeks to prepare for a trip to London. I usually write press releases last minute. AND I was just asked, a couple hours before show time, to join Bill Boorman as his guest on his radio series, “An Audience with…”

Very happy to do this and discuss recruiting, blogging, social recruiting, and Broadbean Technology.

Listen here: An audience with Rayanne Thorn

Just so you know, I love last minute. I is my father coming out in me. He was the master of last-minute planning and he was great!

The Debate Continues

I am sure others in the recruitment industry have heard and read the continuing banter regarding the impending death of job boards as well as the disagreements regarding employer/employment/employee/company branding (the fact that no one really knows which way to write it or say it should say something, eh?)

I love it when we are able to richly debate topics and not get crazy or name-call or dive into complete irrationality. Politics can learn a lot from many online discussions. Not all of course, I myself have had to delete a thread on my facebook page that took a wrong turn and complete strangers turned on each other.

Where we take discussions is up to us, learning to receive information with an open mind is elemental but certainly not easy, as proven online daily. Taking it to the limit should be left to the Eagles.

The fine line between education and domination isn’t so fine when topics are approached rationally, with clarity and with a learning mind. Open it, listen and then hear more than you want to. Don’t leave erudition at the steps of the school.

Oh the places you will go…

What’d You Get?

Everyday you have an opportunity to give to those around you. I’m not saying that you owe society or that you have to be charitable, but is there any reason you can’t open the door for an elderly person or forgive a cross word from an angry sibling? These are simple, EASY things to do that make your life easier and give meaning, reason, purpose, intent…, truly, they do.

And while, maybe, we shouldn’t really be thinking about the rewards…, why not? Suppose you are helping someone send out resumes and knock on a few doors. During the course of his job search and your assistance in said job search, what if you should become aware of his former boss that needs a job also – he’s at the VP level. What do you do?

I know what I’d do, I know what I have done.

EVERY single opportunity that lines your day is a doorway to another opportunity. Don’t see it as a closed door, see it as a new door to open. NEVER leave a conversation without getting something. Even if it’s just a “Have a nice day.”

You Gotta Have Heart

The roar of the crowd was almost deafening. The floor of the freshly-waxed gymnasium shone brightly as six young volleyballers jumped up and down, joyous in their victory. They were eighth graders new to the sport, thirteen and fourteen years old. The last several weeks have been difficult. Soreness plagues a young body unfamiliar with lunges and squats. But practice and pursuit of excellence pay off when heart meets effort.

There had been much discussion between coach and the regarding building a core desire to do well. You can have all the amenities of an athlete. The right shoes. The right sport bag. The right shorts. The right location and coach. The right back-up support, parental units, family and friends. But unless your heart is there, unless your desire to excel and be all that you can be, the opportunity for greatness knocks on a locked door. Desire to do well drives and motivates even the weakest player, the most inexperienced player, to levels previously not approached.

These six girls knew the basics, they knew how to pass, set, and some were able to spike. There was one that rarely made a serve over the net. But they got a little taste of victory in an earlier game and they were hooked. The seed had been planted in their “heart.” A seed that grew and blossomed to become an incentive to play their absolute best, to dig into a sport they knew very little about just a few short weeks ago.

You’ve gotta have heart
All you really need is heart
When the odds are sayin’ you’ll never win
That’s when the grin should start -Damn Yankees

I guess the thing is…, you can win with skill and experience, but will it really matter without “heart?” Without skill and experience, you do not have a shot at winning if you don’t “heart.” How many recruiters are left in the game right now that don’t have heart? That don’t love this sport? That aren’t driven by love of making placements or connecting good people? That impetus, the desire to succeed in this industry can be driven by many factors, money being one. Those driven by money have probably struggled quite a bit over the last two years. Those driven by their hearts have probably fared better.

Skill and experience in recruiting go a long way. Having the wisdom to use both, properly, can be a difficult, but not impossible. But if you don’t like to recruit, if you don’t like talking to people, if you have difficulty with rejection, if you don’t like checks and balances, how can your heart fall in love the talent management industry? It cannot. It’s called engagement. It’s called heart.

by rayannethorn